Friend

And he said to him, "Far from it! You shall not die. Behold, my father does nothing either great or small without disclosing it to me. And why should my father hide this from me? It is not so."

So Jonathan's a little bit skeptical here. And I think I really resonate with Jonathan. He is in a very difficult position. He loves and trusts David. He sees God's hand upon David. And his dad is trying to kill David. It's a very difficult tightrope to walk. He says, "You know, you're not going to die. Behold, my father does nothing, either great or small, without disclosing it to me. And why should my father hide this from me? It's not so."

But David vowed again, saying, "Your father knows well that I have found favor in your eyes, and he thinks, 'Do not let Jonathan know this, lest he be grieved.' But truly, as Yahweh lives and as your soul lives, there is but a step between me and death."

That's a sense of intensity and urgency that David is feeling. Of course he is. He's been attacked and had multiple assassination attempts on his life. It's like, "There's just a step between me and death. As God lives, as you live, Jonathan, hear me. This is absolutely vital and urgent."

Then Jonathan said to David, "Whatever you say, I will do for you."

That might be one of the simplest pictures of what a good friend is and does. Hears and listens and responds. "What do you need? How can I help? Whatever you say, I will do it for you."

So David said to Jonathan, "Behold, tomorrow is the new moon, and I should not fail to sit at table with the king. But let me go, that I may hide myself in the field till the third day at evening. If your father misses me at all, then say, 'David earnestly asked leave of me to run to Bethlehem his city, for there is a yearly sacrifice there for all the clan.' If he says, 'Good!' it will be well with your servant, but if he is angry, then know that harm is determined by him. Therefore deal kindly with your servant, for you have brought your servant into a covenant of Yahweh with you. But if there is guilt in me, kill me yourself, for why should you bring me to your father?" And Jonathan said, "Far be it from you! If I knew that it was determined by my father that harm should come to you, would I not tell you?" Then David said to Jonathan, "Who will tell me if your father answers you roughly?" And Jonathan said to David, "Come, let us go out into the field." So they both went out into the field.

So David and Jonathan have this conversation about Saul's murderous intent. And Jonathan says, "Listen, I will do whatever. I will let you know." David comes up with this plan. There's this festival, this feast coming up. And David would be expected to be there. Even though Saul's trying to kill him, David still has a role and position in the court. So he's going to be expected to be there. And David's like, "If I show up, I'm pretty sure I'm dead. So here's the plan. I'm going to tell your dad that I've gone off to offer a sacrifice with my family. And if he responds good, then he's not going to try to kill me. But if he gets angry, then he's probably going to try to kill me."

And so this is the problem. Saul is murderous and wants to kill David, the one who has been chosen to be king. So we move now from kind of describing the problem in verses 1 to 11. Now in verses 12 to 17, we're going to have this incredible pledge and promise, this covenant once again between Jonathan and David.

And Jonathan said to David, "Yahweh, the God of Israel, be witness! When I have sounded out my father, about this time tomorrow, or the third day, behold, if he is well disposed toward David, shall I not then send and disclose it to you? But should it please my father to do you harm, Yahweh do so to Jonathan and more also if I do not disclose it to you and send you away, that you may go in safety. May Yahweh be with you, as He has been with my father."

Well, that's an interesting little phrase in there. Jonathan recognizes the removal of God's blessing from his own father. It must have broken his heart. But at the same time, he saw that David was a man after God's own heart, and he saw that the Spirit was upon David. And he saw. So here he is in this treacherous place, and he says, "You know what? I'm going to do whatever it takes to protect you, David. And if I don't, may God kill me. May God destroy me."

He says, verse 14:

"If I am still alive, show me the steadfast love of Yahweh, that I may not die. And do not cut off your steadfast love from my house forever, when Yahweh cuts off every one of the enemies of David from the face of the earth."

That's an interesting request. And you've got to understand how transitions of monarchies worked in the ancient Near East. If one king was to be deposed and replaced by another king, the first thing the new king did was kill all the children and heirs of the previous king. That makes sense on a certain level. Removes the threat of anyone having a claim to the throne. This shows us Jonathan's fully aware that God has removed His blessing from his father Saul and given the blessing to David, and that the kingdom and the kingship will go to David. And he knows that it's God that's going to give it to him. He expressly says this. "When Yahweh, when the Lord cuts off all the enemies of David from the face of the earth," says, "When that happens, dude, don't kill me. Don't take me out. Don't take out my children. Don't wipe out my line. I'm going to protect you. You protect me."

And Jonathan caused David to swear again by his love for him, for he loved him as he loved his own soul.

So he covenants with David. He makes David covenant with him. "I'm going to protect you. You protect me. We're in this together." So we have this covenant friendship. It's not casual friendship. It's not, "Hey, we like the same things. Let's hang out a little bit when it's convenient." This is an intentional choosing of love and commitment and sacrifice. This is the choice of a covenant friendship. So they pledge, they promise each other, and then they move on to the plan. Verse 18:

Then Jonathan said to him, "Tomorrow is the new moon, and you will be missed, because your seat will be empty. On the third day go down quickly to the place where you hid yourself when the matter was in hand, and remain beside the stone heap. And I will shoot three arrows to the side thereof, as though I shot at a mark. And behold, I will send the boy, saying, 'Go, find the arrows.' If I say to the boy, 'Look, the arrows are on this side of you, take them,' then you are to come, for, as Yahweh lives, it is safe for you and there is no danger. But if I say to the youth, 'Look, the arrows are beyond you,' then go, for Yahweh has sent you away. And as for the matter of which you and I have spoken, behold, Yahweh is between you and me forever."

He reiterates the covenant reality.

So they just come up with a simple plan, but I love it. It's like a spy movie. It's like, "Okay, so I'll come out, and once I know what my dad's position is, I'll bring out a young guy, and I'll shoot some arrows, and if I tell him they're beside you, then you're safe, and if I say they're beyond you, then you've got to go." So we're left with this: "All right, what's going to happen? This is life and death, remember. So how is Saul going to respond?" So we'll move to the feast here in verses 24 to 29.

So David hid himself in the field. And when the new moon came, the king sat down to eat food. The king sat on his seat, as at other times, on the seat by the wall. Jonathan sat opposite, and Abner sat by Saul's side, but David's place was empty. Yet Saul did not say anything that day, for he thought, "Something has happened to him. He is not clean; surely he is not clean."

So part of the ritual obligations of Israel in the covenant was maintaining purity. And there were many ways for a person to become unclean—touching a dead body, which David as a warrior might find himself in that position on a regular basis. Saul notices David's absence, but he says, "It's probably just something going on. It's just day one. He'll probably be here tomorrow."

But on the second day, the day after the new moon, David's place was empty. And Saul said to Jonathan his son, "Why has the son of Jesse not come to the meal, either yesterday or today?"

Jonathan goes through with the plan.

Jonathan answered Saul, "David earnestly asked leave of me to go to Bethlehem. He said, 'Let me go, for our clan holds a sacrifice in the city, and my brother has commanded me to be there. So now, if I have found favor in your eyes, let me get away and see my brothers.' For this reason he has not come to the king's table."

You've heard the expression, "If the incident is a two and the reaction is a ten, there's something more going on." That's exactly what happens in this. So David not being there is really not the end of the world. And if David had gone to be with his family and celebrate this, this is not really that big of a deal. But Saul reacts instantly in rage and anger, which really isn't too surprising, but it is saddening.

Then Saul's anger was kindled against Jonathan, and he said to him, "You son of a perverse, rebellious woman, do I not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame, and to the shame of your mother's nakedness? For as long as the son of Jesse lives on the earth, neither you nor your kingdom shall be established. Therefore send and bring him to me, for he shall surely die."

And I've got to think that Jonathan's heart just broke at that moment. When David came to him and said, "Dude, your dad's going to try to kill me," he's like, "No, no, no, he won't. I'll find out. He's not going to try." And here's Saul from his own lips: "No, no, he will die."

Then Jonathan answered Saul his father, "Why should he be put to death? What has he done?"

Once again, calls him out. If you remember in the last chapter, he called his dad out and his dad went, "No, you're right." And he relented for a little bit. But he calls him out: "Why are you going to kill him? What has he done? He's never done anything but good for you."

Saul has a spear-throwing problem.

But Saul hurled his spear at him to strike him

Fortunately, for everyone involved, really bad aim. Right? It's unbelievable. He's done this multiple times with David. Now he's mad at Jonathan because Jonathan doesn't want to be king. And then, of course, his rational response is, "I'm going to try to kill you then." It just shows us how messed up, how broken Saul has become as a result of his continued resistance and rebellion against Yahweh. He tries to kill his own son.

So Jonathan knew that his father was determined to put David to death.

Something about this author that I love. There's this dry sense of humor. It's like, "You think? Okay, it's clear now."

And Jonathan rose from the table in fierce anger and ate no food the second day of the month, for he was grieved for David, because his father had disgraced him.

He thought your Thanksgiving was rough.

There's so much intended irony and contrast in this text. Again, I say Saul's in the palace and David is in the field hiding. But Saul in the palace is full of rage and violence and hatred, and relationships are disintegrating around him. While David, who is in the outskirts, who is on the margins, who is hiding in the field, is being shown covenant friendship and love from even the very son of the king who wants to kill him. Let's get to the conclusion of this story. Verses 35 to 42. The plan is lived out and David must flee. It says this:

In the morning Jonathan went out into the field to the appointment with David, and with him a little boy. And he said to his boy, "Run and find the arrows that I shoot." As the boy ran, he shot an arrow beyond him.

I don't know, that made me giggle a little bit this week. I thought maybe you'd shoot the arrows first and then send the little guy running. But apparently Jonathan was confident in his ability. He's like, "Start running and I'm going to start shooting." I'm like, the little boy's got the most faith in this story. He's like, "Okay." Anyway.

And when the boy came to the place of the arrow that Jonathan had shot, Jonathan called after the boy and said, "Is not the arrow beyond you?"

Which, once again, I think must have just been a heartbreaking moment for him. "David, it didn't go the way we wanted. My father wants to kill you. You're going to have to flee. You're going to have to go into exile."

And Jonathan called after the boy, "Hurry! Be quick! Do not stay." So Jonathan's boy gathered up the arrows and came to his master. But the boy knew nothing. Only Jonathan and David knew the matter. And Jonathan gave his weapons to his boy and said to him, "Go and carry them to the city." And as soon as the boy had gone, David rose from beside the stone heap and fell on his face to the ground and bowed three times. And they kissed one another and wept with one another, David weeping the most.

Now, I don't know if you've noticed, but there's something humorous to me about this whole thing. They come up with this whole spy movie plan, right? "We're going to shoot the arrows and do this whole thing," which was completely unnecessary. They do that, and then he sends the little guy away, and then they meet up, and he tells him everything anyway. It's like, I don't know. It just makes it so human to me. Like, "What are we going to do? What are we going to do? Okay, we're going to do this. We're going to come up with a plan." And they come up with a plan, and it's a great plan, and it works, and it was completely unnecessary. They get together, and David comes, and the reality of this crashes upon them, and they wept.

Then Jonathan said to David, "Go in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of Yahweh, saying, 'Yahweh shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever.'" And he rose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city.

I'm just going to launch David into a long season of exile. He'll be chased and harassed by Saul for years. We have this beautiful picture, though, as David is fleeing for his life. He has this moment with his friend. Not just a casual friendship, but a covenant friendship. A deep and profound love and respect. A commitment. Real friendship is always rooted in commitment. And real friendship will always have some sort of cost to it. And here it's beautifully demonstrated for us in Jonathan and David. You know, the beautiful kind of intimacy between them, the kissing one another, loving one another. This is not an erotic sort of thing. In the ancient Near East, this was really pretty normal. It wasn't looked down upon. It wasn't looked at as a sexual expression. It was looked at as a deep covenant loyalty and friendship.

By God's grace this week, I was scrolling through Instagram and this little video came up. The title comes up and it says, "Military Brothers Reunited After Years." And so the video just began to show guys coming up, walking up to a door and ringing the doorbell and the door opening. And these military men that had served together in war, in the trenches, who hadn't seen each other—it would show at the bottom, "Haven't seen each other for 14 years, haven't seen each other for 23 years, haven't seen each other." And that moment of recognition. And here, these are masculine, fierce warriors that have served on the battlefield. And when they see their brother, they instantly fly into each other's arms and weep and embrace and don't want to let go of each other because of that connection that has been born between them. Something about that video just really gripped me. Our culture has made friendship so casual, so convenient, and so easily disposable. "Oh, you disagree with me on politics? Canceled." "Oh, you don't think the same way I do about this issue or this thing? Unfriended." This kind of casual crisis of friendship. And the cost of it is profound. People today are unbelievably lonely. Statistics say that this is especially true for men. Men over the age of like 25 gradually lose friendships. There's countless numbers of men and women in our culture that don't have a friend. That's tragic on so many levels.

For us, it's tragic because theologically, we're not made for isolation and independence. Right from the beginning of our story, God says, It is not good that the man should be alone (Genesis 2:18 ESV). We're not designed to function. We're not made and crafted and given life by God to do well by ourselves. We're created for community. We're formed to be family. We're made for deep, intimate, transparent, vulnerable, costly friendships. We'll only be who God made us to be. We'll only do what God has invited and created us to do in the context of meaningful community. I started with Ecclesiastes: Though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12 ESV). So many people find themselves struggling and failing in their struggle against sin, in their struggle against worldliness, because they're struggling by themselves. What a beautiful story we have in 1 Samuel 20 of David and Jonathan just living out this proverb. David was a step away from death. And without the intervention and the costly intervention of Jonathan, his friend, Saul most likely would have killed him.

One of the things I like about this verse is that it goes to "two will withstand" and "a threefold cord is not quickly broken." And I actually think in the story of 1 Samuel 20, we see that threefold cord because it's not just David. It's not just Jonathan. It's David and Jonathan and Yahweh. Their friendship is not just person to person. Their friendship is covenant to Yahweh, covenant to each other. It's David, Jonathan, and Yahweh, always. He is the one that binds them together. He is the one that calls them. He is the one that helps them. And we're going to see as we continue walking through this story, this covenant loyalty expressed by Jonathan will actually cost him his life. He keeps his covenant to David and literally ends up dying for him. And David keeps his covenant to Jonathan. One of my favorite stories we're going to get to in I don't know how long, but we'll get there. When David finally is on the throne and finds himself established, he seeks out the last living son of Jonathan and brings him into his family and honors the vow that he has made. It's a beautiful, beautiful friendship.

So I was thinking about that this week. Covenant loyalty, covenant friendship always comes with a cost. Real friendship isn't always easy. Because real friendship calls us into the mess of each other's lives. And there's a cost to that. And friendship with God isn't any different. We've really been unpacking that over the last several weeks. There is a cost to covenant friendship with God. Jesus spoke about this a lot. He had a thing or two to say about it. Maybe you've heard this passage from Matthew chapter 10, where Jesus doesn't sound like the Jesus that most people think Jesus was. Jesus says, "Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matthew 10:34-39 ESV).

These are some hard but profound words from the lips of Jesus. Don't get mad at me. I didn't say it. He did. The character of Jesus that's so popular in our culture today, that Jesus is just warm and fuzzy and just loves you and wants to affirm you and wants to make you feel good and wants to just uplift you into whatever it is that you want to be, is not the Jesus of the Scriptures and not the Jesus that we love and worship together this morning. Jesus calls us to follow. "If anyone wants to follow, they can come. But you've got to count the cost." "The reality of my coming isn't going to make your life simpler and easier. The reality of my coming, some of you, it might actually blow up your families." And some of you are living witnesses of that. Some of you have husbands or wives that don't love and follow Jesus. Some of you have children and grandchildren and parents. Some of you have been cut off by family members because of your faith in Jesus as King. There's a cost. Jesus doesn't shy away from that. There's a cost if you follow. But here's the thing. Jesus says, "You're going to get more than you lose. If you lose your life for my sake, that's how you're actually going to find it."

Covenant with Jesus, covenant friendship with Jesus, becomes our central identity. Our defining reality. Our loyalty to Jesus comes first before our loyalty to anything else. And there's always a cost to that. But covenant loyalty, covenant friendship with Jesus creates this new identity and recreates and reforms a covenant community. If we just go two chapters forward to Matthew 12. This well-known moment in Jesus' ministry: While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. But he replied to the man who told him, "Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?" And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother" (Matthew 12:46-50 ESV). Covenant fidelity, covenant faithfulness, covenant friendship with Jesus becomes the central identity of a person's life. And when that happens, we become grafted together with others that are in covenant loyalty and friendship with Jesus, and it creates this new covenant community.

We might be rejected by our biological mother and brothers and sisters. We might pay a real significant painful cost to give our allegiance to Jesus. But it gets replaced. Reimagine the church is the family of God. And those who are faithful to God are the true family. If you asked Jonathan and David, "Who is your true brother? Who is your true family?" They would have said, each other. It wasn't about genetics. It was about covenant faithfulness. Covenant loyalty. Covenant friendship. I'm not sure. Maybe many of you don't find it natural to think about our commitment to Jesus as friendship. But Jesus himself portrayed it this way. In the Upper Room Discourse, we get this amazing passage in John chapter 15, where Jesus says this. He says, "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another" (John 15:12-17 ESV).

Now before we move on, I want you to just remember who He's talking to. So He's talking to the group of 12 disciples that He has called out from many, many different walks of life. And if you think those guys naturally got along, you're not paying attention to the story. One of them's a tax collector. He's a collaborator with Rome. One of them is a zealot. He's one of the guys that's trying to assassinate and kill Rome. You've got some fishermen. You've got some... This is not a group of people that you would put together in a room and go, "Yeah, I get it. I see it." You know, it's more like this room. It's more like this room, which I love. I love looking out and seeing just the beautiful differences in diversity. You know, we could probably fight all day long if we wanted to. Got a lot of differences in this room. But what holds us together is greater than all of those differences.

So Jesus says, "This is my commandment. Love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." Jesus is going to lay down His life for whom? His friends. That's how He sees them. That's how He sees you. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for another. This is my commandment." "You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants. The servant does not know what his master is doing. But I have called you friends. For all that I have heard from my Father, I have made known to you." And then this next verse hit me like a ton of bricks this week: "You did not choose me, but I chose you." Think about what He's saying in this context. Jesus chose you to be His friend. He chose you. Is there anything more gratifying? Is there anything more satisfying than to be chosen? Think about how many TV shows are about choosing of some sort and form. Think back to your days at recess. That fear-induced anxiety of like, "We're picking teams for kickball and I don't want to be chosen last." And the joy when your name is called out. There's something so profoundly satisfying about being chosen.

Jesus is talking to those 12 disciples. This is written for our benefit, and it's just as true for you and I as it was for them. You've been chosen by Jesus to be His friend. He chose you first. You still get the privilege of choosing Him back. And you've got to do that. We all get that. But there's something so profound, something so life-giving and beautiful to me about the fact that Jesus chose us first. Not because we're so awesome. Let's be honest. He chose us when we were at our worst. He chose us when we were still dead in our sins and trespasses. He chose us, not because we're so awesome, but because He's so awesome. "You did not choose me, but I chose you. And I chose you to play a part. I chose you to be on my team. I chose you to join me in the work that I'm doing, the work of the kingdom. I've appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you might ask my Father in my name, He might give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another."

The community of Jesus, the people of Jesus, the covenant people of Jesus must be a community of love. Of love like Jesus, a sacrificial, costly love. This goes so against the grain of modern Christianity, at least here in the West. We look at the church as a source of spiritual goods to meet my needs. We sit back and judge a church by, "Well, does it make me feel good? Does it do what I think it should?" We make it all about ourselves. When the church is really the place where we stop making it all about ourselves, and we make it about each other. Yeah, it's messy, and yeah, it's costly. It's costly. To truly be a good friend, a covenant friend, a new covenant with Jesus friend, means that you've got to lay down your life for one another. It means that we don't walk into this room thinking, "What is everybody going to do for me?" But we walk in saying, "What do I get to do for others?" Because greater love has no one than this, that they lay down their life for another. We love this way because He loves us this way. We can do it because it's been done to us. Maybe I should say it this way. We can only love like that if we have been loved like that. It's only when we truly experience the free grace, the transforming love of Jesus to us that we're able to walk in that covenant friendship of loving others that way.

So I wonder, do you know the love of Jesus like that? Do you know that Jesus has chosen you as a friend? That He's invited you. That He knows you and He loves you. And He treasures you. And He longs for you to be with Him and to receive His love and to share in it. He's chosen you. The question becomes, do you choose Him back? Do you enter into the love of Christ and experience the profound transformation and freedom that only comes by being loved by Jesus? And that love, I guarantee you, it will transform you. It will change you. It will move you. Because by definition it does. It has to. Proverbs 18:24 says this: A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24 ESV). We might easily say that that proverb is proven true by Jonathan to David, and I think that's true. But the greater illustration of that proverb is the love of Jesus for us, His friends, who willingly laid down His life on our behalf, who called us His friends and invites us to join Him in covenant friendship. May we live every day out of the absolute assurance that we are the friends of God. Amen?