When Hesed is Refused

¹After this the king of the Ammonites died, and Hanun his son reigned in his place.

Now, in the ancient Near East, transitions like this are perilous. They're opportunities for enemies and they're dangerous for the newly established king. This is a moment of opportunity for David and a moment for us to see his nature and character. Will he use this as an opportunity to attack this new young king? One of the commentaries I read this week said, "We would not be surprised to read that David acted to crush the new king." I think that would have been the expectation. We're coming out of a couple of chapters where God is giving David great victory over the enemies surrounding him. David is at his core a warrior. And with this transition, the king of the Ammonites dies and now his son takes the rule. What's David going to do? Verse two says, "David said, I will deal loyally with Hanun. I will deal loyally with him."

Now, in English we don't quite see that this is the exact same phrase that we saw back at the beginning of chapter nine, what David said about Mephibosheth: "Is there anyone that I can show kindness?" This is the exact same phrase, the exact same verb, the exact same noun. Is there anybody I can show hesed to? And the "show" is "make." [To make, to do — עָשָׂה — ʿāśâ — to do, make, accomplish, produce (HALOT)] Is there anyone that I can make kindness for? Anyone that I can make relational responsibility for? This is a continuation of the structure of chapter nine. If you remember, that verb "to make" or "to do" shows up three times. David made a name for himself. Then David made justice and equity for all the people. Then David made hesed for the son of another king. Now we get to the beginning of this chapter, and it's not as easy to see in the English, but in the Hebrew it's clear as day. Now David makes again for the son of another king, but this time it doesn't go so well.

Now, there's a lot to unpack in this verse. He says, "I'll deal loyally. I'll make covenant faithfulness. I'll show kindness to Hanun, the son of Nahash." And right away some alarm bells start going off, because we've run into Nahash before. We saw him back in 1 Samuel. In fact, it's one of the shining moments, one of the good moments of Saul's kingship, how Saul fought against Nahash and the Ammonites and brought some deliverance to Israel. But it's more than that, because the name Nahash literally means "the serpent." [The serpent — נָחָשׁ — nachash — snake, serpent (HALOT)] It's this echo of the first deceiver and enemy in Genesis chapter 3. Nahash, the snake, the slippery one.

David says, I'm going to show loyalty, hesed, to Hanun, the son of Nahash, as his father showed hesed to me. I'm going to deal loyally with Hanun because Nahash his father dealt loyally with me. Now, we have no idea when this happened, what happened, how Nahash showed any sort of loyalty to David. There's no biblical story. There's no text. There's no verse. That doesn't mean that people haven't speculated about it. They have, for a long, long time. Here's what I will say. We do know from some of the genealogical information that's given to us, like 1 Chronicles chapter 2, dealing with David and his extended family, that it seems David might actually have some family connections to Nahash and the Ammonites through his sisters. But we don't know. And for the purposes of this text, it really doesn't matter. David wants to once again make covenant faithfulness, because this is what we're ultimately all made to do.

So he sends his servants to console him concerning his father. That sounds like a sympathy card, but it's so much more. The Hebrew here is a very technical term. [To console — נָחַם — nacham — (Piel) to comfort, console (HALOT)] It's a term used in a political context of a king sending an emissary, an envoy, an ambassador to another king during times of grief or struggle and expressing solidarity with that other king. So he's not just saying, "Hey, I'm sorry your dad died." He's saying, "Hey, I'm sorry your dad died and I'm still with you. You don't have to be afraid of me." This is conveying a lot from David. So he sends:

²And David said, “I will deal loyally with Hanun the son of Nahash, as his father dealt loyally with me.” So David sent by his servants to console him concerning his father. And David’s servants came into the land of the Ammonites.

I suppose in a sermon about cynicism we should ask the rather cynical question: why is David doing this? Is he doing this out of a genuine, pure heart? Or is he doing this to build political alliances and strengthen his position and make sure his allies are together? The text doesn't tell us of any ulterior motives. He may have had them. I'm fond of saying I've never had a pure motive in my life. Neither have you. Neither has David. But I don't think that we need to assign to David worse motives than what the text says. The text just says, "Hey, he wants to express hesed to Hanun because of his relationship," and that's what he does. The one who had made a name for himself, the one who made justice, the one who made hesed for another king's son, now attempts to make it for another king's son. Let's not assign bad motives where the text doesn't.

Now, let's get to verse three. This is really the heart of the chapter, where everything turns. It says:

³But the princes of the Ammonites said to Hanun their lord, “Do you think, because David has sent comforters to you, that he is honoring your father? Has not David sent his servants to you to search the city and to spy it out and to overthrow it?”

So the other rulers. David's envoys come to Hanun and his advisers, the princes of the land, and the princes of the land begin this campaign of cynicism. They have no problem assigning ulterior or bad motives to David. In fact, they reject out of hand even the possibility that he is doing this sincerely. Notice the communal reality at work here. Hanun doesn't just see the envoys and see the message of David and reject it by himself. He's surrounded by these advisers who begin to whisper and then flat out say the real thing out loud. David's... you don't really think, do you? Now, to be fair, David had earned himself a bit of a reputation, and he had dealt very severely, in fact very recently, with the Moabites and some of the other peoples around them. So I understand. That's maybe the tragedy of this text for me, actually, that I really get the cynicism of these advisers. They say, "If it looks good, it can't be true." So they whisper and they campaign. I love this phrase, bĕʿênêkā, "do you think?" It's a Hebrew idiom. It means "in your sight." It literally is "in your eyes." [In your eyes — עַיִן — ʿayin (here בְּעֵינֶיךָ, bĕʿênêkā) — eye; with the preposition בְּ and the suffix, “in your sight,” i.e., in your judgment or estimation (BDB)] Is this what you're seeing?

Now, this is where the thesis of this whole series that we're walking through comes to fruition in this text. The advisers, the people that are supposed to be shaped and led by the king and what the king sees, are telling the king what he sees. This is the "we become what we behold" pattern playing out once again. Because as they shift his gaze, as they put a lens over what he is seeing, a lens of cynicism and suspicion and doubt, he doesn't see David reaching out a hand of hesed. And it says, "So Hanun took David's servants..." I don't like to read this,

⁴So Hanun took David’s servants and shaved off half the beard of each and cut off their garments in the middle, at their hips, and sent them away.

David reaches out a hand of hesed, relational covenantal loyalty, and Hanun slaps that hand. He shames the envoys. That's what this is. The shaving of the beard is a demeaning act of humiliation in that culture. You're not a man without the beard, and to shave off the beard, this is what you did when you defeated an enemy in battle and you took them as prisoners and as slaves. You would shave their beards as a sign of humiliation and as a sign of your victory over them. And then the cutting of the robes in the middle at the hips is a really polite way of saying a very embarrassing reality for the envoys. The envoys come and they're wearing their robes and they're cut, exposing their genitals, is what's happening in this text. It's an absolute sign of humiliation in the ancient Near East. And then he sends them off. Throws them out of the city. There they are: half a beard, exposed genitals, humiliated, rejected.

You've got to understand, in the ancient Near East, and this is true today, when an envoy is sent from one king to another, you're to treat the envoy like you would treat that king. So what Hanun did to these envoys, these ambassadors, he's effectively doing to David. The envoys didn't come in their own name. They didn't come in their own authority. They came in David's. So anything that he does to them, he's doing to David. So David reaches out a hand of hesed: "Let's stand together. Let's be loyal and kind. Let's make each other better." And Hanun shames him, humiliates him, attacks the dignity and power and reputation of David. Now, based on everything we know about David and everything Hanun should have known about David, this is not going to go well for him. We have a rather crass expression that I'll alter just a little bit: fool around and find out. That's exactly what the rest of the text explores for us. See, even a king needs to be careful who he listens to. Even a king needs to be careful what he beholds and what he sees and how he interprets what he sees, because we become what we behold. And as a king beholds, so becomes his people.

Let me walk you through the rest of the chapter and we'll see how David responds, and see what happens to the Ammonites as a result of their king and what their king saw and how their king responded and rejected the hesed of David. Verse five:

⁵When it was told David, he sent to meet them, for the men were greatly ashamed. And the king said, “Remain at Jericho until your beards have grown and then return.”

When it was told David, he went to meet them. Who's the "them"? The envoys. He went. They've been absolutely humiliated. They didn't want to go back to Jerusalem with half a beard. I'm sure they could have thrown on another robe, but you get the point. They have been humiliated, not because of anything they did. They were humiliated for their king. And I love that the first thing David does isn't to go into this narcissistic rage of a king: "I must have my vengeance." He goes and he meets with the men that were humbled for his name. He meets with them and he encourages them and he gives them grace and space. "Hey, stay here. Recover. It's all going to be good." And then it's on.

⁶When the Ammonites saw that they had become a stench to David, the Ammonites sent and hired the Syrians of Beth-rehob, and the Syrians of Zobah, 20,000 foot soldiers, and the king of Maacah with 1,000 men, and the men of Tob, 12,000 men. ⁷And when David heard of it, he sent Joab and all the host of the mighty men.

That's interesting to me. It's almost like David is returning the insult now. You're not even worth me coming out to fight at this point. And they know that David can take them. So the first thing they do, and if you read the Chronicles account of this, it focuses on the amount of money that is spent to hire all of these mercenaries to come in, because they know they've poked the bear. But David, when he

⁷And when David heard of it, he sent Joab and all the host of the mighty men. ⁸And the Ammonites came out and drew up in battle array at the entrance of the gate, and the Syrians of Zobah and of Rehob and the men of Tob and Maacah were by themselves in the open country.

Rehob, however we want to say that today. So they effectively lay out a trap. The Israelites come up to the city, and there's the host in the city, but all the mercenaries that they've hired are out in the open, and they come up around behind them. So now Israel's in between them. They've got them trapped.

⁹When Joab saw that the battle was set against him both in front and in the rear, he chose some of the best men of Israel and arrayed them against the Syrians. ¹⁰The rest of his men he put in the charge of Abishai his brother, and he arrayed them against the Ammonites.

So he doesn't run, he doesn't panic, he doesn't flee. He orders and organizes. He puts the best fighters in the place of the most importance and delegates authority where it needs to go. They're in a tough spot. They're in between the enemy, but they're going to see what happens. So he says to Abishai, his brother:

¹And he said, “If the Syrians are too strong for me, then you shall help me, but if the Ammonites are too strong for you, then I will come and help you.

In terms of military intelligence and battle planning, probably not that great, but simple. So if I need help, help me. If you need help, I'll help you. Got it. And then he says this, which is really the only redeeming line in this chapter.

¹²Be of good courage, and let us be courageous for our people, and for the cities of our God, and may the Lord do what seems good to him.”

So here we have at least an expression of faith in the midst of this. We're in a tough spot and they think they've trapped us, but we're going to do the best that we can and we're going to see what God does. That's about as good as you could get.

¹³So Joab and the people who were with him drew near to battle against the Syrians, and they fled before him. ¹⁴And when the Ammonites saw that the Syrians fled, they likewise fled before Abishai and entered the city. Then Joab returned from fighting against the Ammonites and came to Jerusalem.

So the first battle's over and the Israelites had victory, and the mercenaries fled. The Ammonites are hiding in their city.

¹⁵But when the Syrians saw that they had been defeated by Israel, they gathered themselves together.

So now the mercenaries are upset that they got beaten so badly. So they go and get everybody else around them together. You see how cynicism spreads? The consequences of cynicism. What started as an insult from the Ammonites to the Israelites now involves the Syrians. It's not just one war. It's another war. That doesn't sound like anything in world history, right? So they gathered themselves together, and Hadadezer

¹⁶And Hadadezer sent and brought out the Syrians who were beyond the Euphrates. They came to Helam, with Shobach the commander of the army of Hadadezer at their head.

¹⁷And when it was told David, he gathered all Israel together and crossed the Jordan and came to Helam. The Syrians arrayed themselves against David and fought with him.

So now David's coming out. He comes out, crosses the Jordan, comes to Helam. The Syrians arrayed themselves against David and fought with him.

¹⁸And the Syrians fled before Israel, and David killed of the Syrians the men of 700 chariots, and 40,000 horsemen, and wounded Shobach the commander of their army, so that he died there. ¹⁹And when all the kings who were servants of Hadadezer saw that they had been defeated by Israel, they made peace with Israel and became subject to them. So the Syrians were afraid to save the Ammonites anymore.

As Hanun saw, Hanun acted. That's the synopsis of this text. As he saw, he acted. As he acted, as king, so acted the Ammonites.

I think there are a lot of lessons in here for us today, especially in light of our own struggle with cynicism. What we see, how we perceive reality, is probably the most important thing about us. And none of us see in isolation. Our sight is shaped by those around us. So that does mean, as I've already said, we have to pay careful attention to the advice of others, to the counselors that we look to and surround ourselves with. Now, the cynical response is to say, "Well, then I'm just not going to listen to anybody. I'm just going to do it on my own." The cure to cynicism is not naivete or isolation, because you have blind spots, and we're not designed to exist in isolation. We're created by God for community. We need each other. We need good, wise counsel. The Bible, Proverbs especially, makes this case over and over and over again. But we have to be careful, and ultimately we have to take responsibility for what we do with the advice that we seek and the advice that we receive. "My advisers made me do it" is not a good excuse. It's not a legitimate defense.

And not only do we have to be careful about the advice we listen to, we have to be very careful about the advice that we give. We certainly don't want to receive cynicism, but even more so, we don't want to be spreaders of it. Some of you came in this morning as the person being whispered to. Some of you came in this morning as the whisperer. Most of us will be both by lunchtime. And why is that? Why is it so easy? Why does cynicism so easily grip our heart and shape our perceptions? I think it's because we keep two ledgers, one for ourselves and one for everybody else. When we do something, we judge ourselves by our intent. So we reach out to somebody that we hurt, we reach out to show kindness to somebody, and we're like, "I'm doing the right thing. I'm showing love. I'm David here. I'm showing hesed. I'm the good guy." But we don't like to judge everybody else by their intent. We tend to assign to them ulterior motives. So we reach out to somebody that we hurt in the past and we're like, "Well, I'm just showing how sorry I am and that I want to make things right." But when somebody that hurt us in the past reaches out, we're like, "Oh, I wonder what they want. I wonder what they're going to do now." My kindness is kindness. Yours is a play. We read our own gestures by what we mean by them and everyone else's by what they get out of them. That's what's happening in this story. David reads his own hesed by his intent. The princes of the Ammonites see it as leverage. And the only thing separating them was their perception, the side that they stood on. That's the way life works.

As I wrestled and prayed through this text, it brought me to a place of humility and desperation, and I just wrote it this way: we truly need somebody that sees better. We become what we behold, and our advisers shape us and infect and shape how we see things, and at the end of the day I need somebody that sees things as they actually are. We truly need someone that sees better. And that made me begin to reflect on 2 Corinthians chapter 10.

The church at Corinth had a cynicism problem. Let's be honest, the church at Corinth had a lot of problems. It's why it's one of my favorite places. They're so jacked up. It gives me so much hope, because Paul never gave up on them. Jesus never gave up on them. So beautiful. But they had a cynicism problem. It was born out of their culture. Corinth is this major, wealthy, notoriously cosmopolitan trading hub in Greece of the Roman Empire. It's posh. They like themselves. They feel they're much better than everybody else. Now, Paul came to Corinth and he was there for eighteen months and he started the church in Corinth. He spent eighteen months there discipling and teaching, and then he went off to bring the message of the gospel to other places and other peoples, because that was his role. After he left, the Corinthians began to have doubts about Paul's authority because of Paul's image. He wasn't flashy. He wasn't wealthy. He actually worked for a living. They had these super apostles now in Corinth that were rich, and they were so eloquent in their speech. Paul was, well, he wasn't that. He admits that so much himself. So even though he brought them the word of the gospel, even though he started the church among them, their eyes are on the world around them, and Paul doesn't add up. And so they begin to have this tension, this conflict. What kind of apostle could Paul be if he lives like he lives?

In 2 Corinthians, one of the things Paul wants to do is to deal with this issue, this cynical rejection of his calling and his authority based on image. So he writes these words in chapter 10:

¹I, Paul, myself entreat you, by the meekness and gentleness of Christ—I who am humble when face to face with you, but bold toward you when I am away!— ²I beg of you that when I am present I may not have to show boldness with such confidence as I count on showing against some who suspect us of walking according to the flesh.

"I, Paul, myself entreat you." This phrase might be the most important in here: "by the meekness and gentleness of Christ." How did Christ come? Did He come flashy? No. He's born in a manger. Come riding on a warhorse? No. Came seated on the foal of a donkey. He had nothing in Him that was, according to the standards of the world, great. Paul says, I come to you in the image of Christ. He's saying, I'm getting ready to come visit you and I'm pleading with you, don't make it awkward. Let's get this worked out. He says you're judging me according to the works and the ways of the flesh, of the world.

³For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. ⁴For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. ⁵We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, ⁶being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete. ⁷Look at what is before your eyes. If anyone is confident that he is Christ’s, let him remind himself that just as he is Christ’s, so also are we.

Here's the argument. He writes to the church in Corinth, you are looking at worldly standards and then trying to apply them to the things of the kingdom. You see money and rhetoric as the signs and symbols of authority and worth. That is how the world works, but it's not how the kingdom works. We're actually in a battle between the kingdom and the world. And it's not a battle of swords and spears. It's the battle of ideas. It's the battle of truth. It's the battle of seeing. It's a battle of what defines reality. To see reality by the standard of Christ, not by the standard of the world, is what Paul is pleading with the church in Corinth. For Jesus, the King, is the true standard of truth and reality. So every thought, every idea, every piece of advice received or given must be compared to the truth that is revealed in the Person Who is the way, the truth, and the life.

Verse seven, he says, "Look at what is before your eyes." It's not a command. It's a rebuke. This is what you're doing. You're looking at what is before your eyes. But what you need to see is that you're in Christ and I'm in Christ and we're all in Christ, and the only thing that really matters and defines truth and reality is Christ. Whatever advisers we have in our lives, whatever perceptions we see around us, the word of Jesus stands above them all, because He sees better.

Now, let me give this caveat. Please don't hear me this morning saying one of two things. I'm not saying that Jesus is just another adviser. He's the Adviser. He's more than an adviser.

He is the Wonderful Counselor, but He's also the Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace. He is the King. So when He gives advice, it's advice, but it's really a command, because He's the King. We don't want to listen to Jesus as one option among many. He's the truth. That made me think of Isaiah 9:6: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. That led me to Isaiah 11:2 to 4, speaking of Jesus, the Messiah, the Servant.

²And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord.

I could use some of that. I could use some wisdom. I could use some insight. I could use some knowledge. Where is it? Well, it's resting on Him. And I love this. It says,

³And his delight shall be in the fear of the Lord. He shall not judge by what his eyes see, or decide disputes by what his ears hear, ⁴but with righteousness he shall judge the poor, and decide with equity for the meek of the earth; and he shall strike the earth with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips he shall kill the wicked.

That's a different kind of adviser. That's why we must take every thought captive to Christ. When I say Christ is the true Adviser, I'm not just saying He offers advice that might be good advice. His advice is life. His truth brings freedom. His advice is the light by which we see reality. He is the Adviser Who rules and Who makes His will into reality.

I also want to give a caveat here, because we love to take things too extreme. And you say, "Well, then I'm only going to listen to Jesus. I'm not going to listen to anybody else." That's just the princes' cynicism in a holier-than-thou coat. The King Who rules, the King Who defines truth and reality, is the same King Who gave us His church and His Spirit and the wise voices through which He speaks. The cure to cynicism is not isolation or naivete. The cure to cynicism is going to the One Who actually sees better.

One of our core values here at Estrella Mountain Church is the value of journey, that we are sent as ambassadors of Jesus. We're sent in His name. We're sent with His message. We're empowered by His Spirit. This is who we are. We are the sent ones of God.

Jesus said it this way: As the Father has sent Me, even so I am sending you. What a privilege. What an honor. Not just to be loved by Jesus, not just to be rescued by Jesus, but then to be adopted and accepted and brought into the work of Jesus, to join Him in His rescue mission. What a privilege. Sometimes it's amazing. Sometimes we get our beards shaved off.

Let me close with words from Jesus in John 15. Most of you know these really well.

Jesus said, "Remember the word that I've said to you, a servant is not greater than his master. If they persecuted Me, they'll also persecute you. If they kept My word, they'll also keep yours." What's Jesus saying? He's saying this: don't be a cynic. There are going to be some that accept. But He's also saying, don't be a fool. There will be those that reject. Jesus is shining light on what we can expect as the ambassadors. Sometimes we're welcomed and embraced and given a seat at the table, and sometimes we share in the suffering of Christ as we're sent away with our beards shaved off. But then He says this: "All these things they will do to you on account of My name, because they do not know Him Who sent Me." The acceptance, yay. The rejection, don't take it personally. You're not accepted because you're great and rejected because you're bad. It's actually not that much about you. You're going in His name. You're His ambassador. You're His representative. You will experience what He experienced. Don't let cynicism shape the calling and the way that you see God's calling on your life. You're not defined by your mistakes. You're not defined by your weaknesses. You're not defined by the ways that others respond to you. You're defined by the One Who has made you for Himself and has rescued and redeemed you through His broken body and His shed blood. Trust in the Lord. Amen.